let-the-phoenix-fly:

malfxoys:

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

Read the whole thing.

belleswift17:

Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris’ sudden split was revealed in early June, and it appears the duo may have broken up over the deejay and producer’s hit with Rihanna.

“Taylor Swift wrote “This Is What You Came For” under the pseudonym Nils Sjoberg,“ the singer’s rep confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.

Earlier on Wednesday, TMZ reported that Swift “wrote the song, sat down at a piano and did a demo into her iPhone,” which she then sent to Harris.

After recording a full demo, they agreed to keep the collaboration on the down-low, but Swift was hurt after Harris did an interview and said he couldn’t foresee working with his then-girlfriend in the future.

“You know, we haven’t even spoken about it. I can’t see it happening though,” Harris told Ryan Seacrest while promoting the song.

After meeting Tom Hiddleston at the Met Ball in May, Swift’s friendship with the actor took a romantic turn weeks after her split from Harris, and the new couple have been globe-trotting in the last month.

giving up my tumblr, message me if you want it for email and pass :)

kevingetem:

y'all be hurting the ppl that really be a 100% down for you, and that’s the really sad part